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Testosterone
- Started taking
Testosterone at 25 years
old.
- I take testosterone
to develop & maintain secondary male
sex characteristics, e.g. deep voice, increased
body hair, masculine body shape.
- The end result of
taking testosterone for me is it enables
me to live as a man without having to explain
that I am ftm - Improves my self-image, I am
much happier with my body than I was before
testosterone - I feel that I don't need to act
really macho just to pass, now that it is very
hard to mistake me as female due to my physical
appearance. I don't have to worry "am I being
manly enough?" when out in public like I used
to.
Habits & Health
- Used to smoke
- Drink socially - perhaps up to 10
drinks/week
- Participate in occasional vigorous exercise
(i.e., work or recreation, less than 4x/week for
30 min.)
- Use drugs socially and regularly smoke
marijuana
Mental Health
- Yes, I have depression.
- Stress is a major problem for me and I panic
when stressed.
- I have some problems with eating or my
appetite.
- I have seriously thought about hurting
myself - I have trouble sleeping.
- Yes, I have noticed some changes prior to
taking testosterone compared to after taking it.
I believe that testosterone has lessened my
depression. Before, it was rare for me to go
through a day without feeling "flat", apathetic,
or self-critical, and happiness/inner peace was
an unusual emotion. Now, I believe my
self-esteem is much improved, although I am
still prone to episodes of depression (probably
because it is mostly unrelated to being
transsexual).
Life prior to Treatment
Life before transition -
Very difficult - Having others perceive me as
female, & being expected to behave as female,
was something that confronted me on a daily basis
& was an extremely unpleasant experience. Also,
looking back, I see that I made life difficult not
just for myself but for my friends & family too
(not just because they had to adjust to my being
ftm, but a result of me taking out my frustration
on others). I had a good childhood but once puberty
hit, it's almost as if my ability to be happy
disappeared.
I can recall identifying
as a boy for most of my childhood. As a teenager I
found out about transsexuals & thought "this is
me." However, most of the time I found it too
difficult to attempt to live as male, preferring
androgyny. I did go through a phase of attempting
to live as a woman but after a couple of years I
found myself more determined than ever to live as
the man I knew I was deep down, & in my
mid-twenties I was finally ready to commit to
physical & social transition.
As noted above, most of
the time I felt a range of negative emotions from
sheer apathy to downright misery. Being ftm was a
torture that I would have done anything to be free
from, I hated myself & my body.
Although I have never gone
through with them, I would often spend a lot of
time fantasising in great detail various ways to
kill myself and the consequences.
|
Treatment & Effects
What medical
process/hormone regime —
- I was referred to a GP
known to help transsexual people by a doctor. My
GP (whom I still see) referred me to
psychiatrists for assessment, and once I had
been diagnosed as transsexual, she referred me
to an endocrinologist.
- I started out on
patches but these had little effect & I had
an allergic reaction to the adhesive, so my endo
prescribed me oral T (Andriol).
- After taking a low
dose for 3 months or so, my GP decided to switch
me to shots (Sustanol 250) every 2 weeks, as I
was experiencing fatigue & moodiness &
blood tests revealed my T levels were low.
- I am now getting shots
from my GP every 3 weeks.
What changes occured
that you wanted? —
- Deepened voice. My
voice broke about 8 months after I started T
& settled down into its new range over a few
months. I think it is still in the process of
deepening, but thankfully it has stopped
embarrassing me with unexpected squeakiness.
This was my #1 priority in starting T as I often
found I could pass prior to T - until I actually
spoke.
- Increased body hair -
Although my upper body has remained sparsely
haired, my legs, stomach, & bum have all
become very hirsute.
- Muscle growth &
body shape - I never "work out", walking is my
major form of exercise, however muscles in my
arms & legs have become much more obvious.
Also, I now have broad shoulders & a less
curvaceous body shape.
- Clitoral growth - this
wasn't something I really thought about before
starting T, however now that it's happened it is
a change I definitely enjoy.
What changes occured
that you didn't want? —
- Increased appetite
& weight gain. It seems a lot harder to lose
weight now I am on T.
- Increased acne. In
addition to having the most acne on my face
since my "first" puberty, I also have acne on my
body which I never had before T.
- Increased sex drive.
This is not so much a problem as a minor
annoyance, however I do notice I am a lot more
easily distracted by thoughts of sex & see
people as "sex objects" first.
|
body type
before
|
endomorph
|
body type
after
|
same
|
|
weight
before
|
60-65
kg
|
weight
after
|
80-85
kg
|
|
height
before
|
167 cm
|
height
after
|
167 cm
|
Did testosterone or
transition change your sexuality (who you are
attracted to)? —
No change
Attitudes of HealthCare Providers
Positive aspects of
healthcare provider treatment —
Being treated as a human
being, not just a case study or set of symptoms -
recognising that being transsexual is not the 'be
all & end all' of my life. Doctors who
demonstrated care, attention, & sensitivity,
made me feel confident about the treatment I was
receiving & comfortable with returning to them
again.
Negative aspects of
healthcare provider treatment —
Feeling as if I was on a
conveyer belt in the tranny factory - part of a
standardised process with no consideration for my
particular circumstances or any other problems I
might be facing (medical or otherwise).
Fortunately, this was largely the result of a very
small number of doctors willing to see transsexual
people at the time & since these negative
experiences, many of these doctors have moved on
& more professionals (both GPs and specialists)
are willing to see transsexual people.
Other Comments
No answer
|
Laurence
