Finding the right counsellor

TALKING with a counsellor can be very helpful, even if you have other support mechanisms in place. You need to find someone who will listen to you, who understands and supports you and will help you make a plan for the future. A counsellor can be particularly useful to talk about those things you would rather not share with your family or loved ones.

It’s normal if you’re feeling anxious, sad and a little stressed.  It is difficult to live with a body you feel is heading fast in one direction, when you know it should be going in another.

You’ll need to give your counsellor (or psychologist) an understanding of your personal history so far. They will also be interested in other things going on in your life and how you’re managing them.

It may take you a while to find the right counsellor. Not all counsellors or psychologists understand the issues around transition.

If your counsellor starts talking about your gender discomfort in terms of a psychiatric or mental health problem or they suggest you need to ‘overcome’ your discomfort so you can accept the sex you were assigned at birth, find another counsellor.

Be concerned if your counsellor uses the Harry Benjamin Standards as some kind of ‘rule’ or ‘strict requirement’. These standards are only meant to be guidelines and an experienced counsellor will understand that. The best counsellor or psychologist is the one who is willing to learn about you and your experiences.

Talking to a counsellor can help you put things into perspective. A good counsellor will suggest strategies you can use to deal with your situation. This is useful to reduce your current stress levels as well as help you manage stressful situations in the future.

page updated 3 January 2011