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If your child, partner or loved one discloses to
you their personal discomfort and intention to
transition, you can take an important role in
supporting your loved one with the road ahead.
There's a good chance that you will strengthen
an important relationship, if you can offer your
empathy and support to your loved one at this
time.
Recognise how important
your love, acceptance, and support
are.
If your loved one has take the time to
tell you of his feelings and plans, there's a good
chance you are an important person to him.
He's still the same
person.
Understand that his basic character,
temperament and personality remain the same as
before, with all admirable qualities intact.
Communicate.
Keep the lines of communication open
between the two of you, even if at first your
communication is about your fears. Don't shut him
out. Listen without judgement, anger, argument or
confrontation. Ask questions and educate
yourself.
Learn more about your
loved one's condition and struggles.
Educate yourself can be the most useful
thing to do throughout the journey of transition.
Show that you care enough to make an effort to read
and learn all you can about the condition.
Respect your loved one
as a strong human being.
Offer the same respect, courtesy, and
compassion that you would like to have in return if
you were to announce that you have a medical
condition that requires treatment. Admire his
courage and determination, and let him know.
Trust him.
Trust what your loved one is doing is
right for him, that he has not made this decision
frivolously but rather after years of struggle and
soul searching. Remain warm and affectionate even
if you experience discomfort with the situation at
present.
Empathise.
Try to put yourself in his shoes.
Remember the challenges he faces. Try to create a
welcome place.
Anticipate.
The possibility of a positive
relationship with your loved one lies ahead. If he
seemed troubled and unhappy in the past, with the
source of the unhappiness now finally known and
addressed, you can look forward to a more
satisfying relationship.
Reduce stress.
Transition is a time of stress
for everyone. Talk to each other. Be encouraging
and supportive. A critical, over-involved, or
over-protective attitude can appear threatening
your loved one seeking answers for their
feelings.
Identify reasonable
goals that are obtainable in the near future.
Encourage and recognise progress, even
if it is less than what was hoped for. t's
important that he can offer suggestions and goals.
However, you can work together to identify problems
and possible solutions.
How You Can Help Yourself
Here are some simple steps you can take to look
after your own needs –
- Call a friend
- Go for a long walk
- Exercise
- Curl up with a book
- Rent a favorite video
- Take a hot bath
- Have a massage
- Write a letter
- Listen to your favorite music
- Or just do whatever makes you feel good
Take things step by step. The speed of progress
is not as important as the direction.
From Where A Parent (or any loved one)
Stands
- unconditional love
- tolerance — acceptance — approval
— support
- compassion — understanding —
empathy
- sharing — communication —
education
- admiration — respect — pride
- adventure — excitement — happiness
— humour
- relief — patience — peace
- trust — privilege —
confidence
- opportunity to grow and learn
- opportunity to know my child better
- closeness — protectiveness
- my child needs me
- being there — lean on me
- how can I help?
- TLC
- loyalty — safety
- talking, listening, holding
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