Australia
— Jaeda
For QP: Take me back to the beginning when you were
younger - did you know you were transgendered, or did you
think you were a lesbian?
Jayden: I had it
nailed when I was a toddler. I knew I was a boy. I
insisted upon it. But who really takes a 3 year old
seriously? In high school when I first admitted to
myself something was different, I thought I was a
lesbian. I really had no idea what being transgender
was. There was such a negative connotation with
"getting a sex change" that I didn't even consider
that a possibility. While part of my wishes I would of
been able to come out sooner I'm glad I was able to
live as a lesbian because I certainly learned a lot.
It took a few years, and some education for me to even
question my gender.
Jaeda
For QP: Tell me about realizing that you were, in
fact, male. How did that feel at the time? Describe some
of the struggles you went through.
Jayden: A few
months after I started questioning my gender I had a
single moment where I fully accepted my true gender. I
could feel the relief and joy through my entire body.
Like THIS is what I'd been waiting for all along. It
was a very euphoric experience. As far as struggles
go, once I started questioning everything in the first
place, I never really looked back, I never felt like
it could be wrong. It’s all the years prior to
the initial education that was the struggle.
Jaeda
For QP: How did your family react?
Jayden: I am a
very lucky man. I have a wonderful family. Before I
completely accepted my gender I told my mom I was
questioning my gender, and exploring the spectrum to
find my place on it. And after I came out, my mom was
the first person I told. She has always been totally
amazing throughout this entire journey; she even
helped me pick out my new name. My brother and sister
are always both very supportive and were not at all
surprised. Although, my brother was a little worried
at the beginning because he has MTF friends who are
unhappy with their choice to transition. All of the
young children thought nothing of it, and switched
pronouns and my new name better then the adults. I've
been to family weddings and gatherings and have been
welcome with open arms. While some of my distant
family members don't fully understand what being
transgendered is, they are learning.
Jaeda
For QP: Tell me about beginning to live as a man,
before testosterone.
Jayden: Life
pre-t was at times frustrating. But for the most part
just another part of the journey. I was lucky enough
to pass as male 90% of the time. Of course everyone
thought I was a 15 year old boy. During that time I
was finally able to start building a strong
self-esteem.
Jaeda
For QP: Did you ever experience any kind of hostility
or discrimination from the lesbian community?
Jayden: I
haven't experienced any hostility or discrimination
from the lesbian community; however I am now just
another man, and no longer a visible ally or member of
their community.
Jaeda
For QP: Tell me about the decision to start hormone
therapy.
Jayden: The
decision was easy. Hormone therapy would begin to give
me my real body. Something I hoped for my entire
life.
Jaeda
For QP: How did your family react to your decision to
transition?
Jayden: Again my
family was very supportive and helped me through to
process. In fact my mom gave me my shots for a
while.
Jaeda
For QP: Tell me about your first few months on
testosterone - the physical changes your body went
through, and your emotional fluctuations.
Jayden: I feel
like I changed really fast. In the first few months,
everything a transguy could hope for changed. My voice
started dropping immediately. My muscles started
getting bigger, and denser. And my facial hair started
growing in. I only had one more period, the day after
my first shot, and then they stopped. Emotionally, I
just could feel myself calming down more and more.
Anger also started affecting me differently. However,
nothing too intense or dangerous.
Jaeda
For QP: How did your dating life change after
starting testosterone?
Jayden: I
decided during a time when I was going through a lot
of mental changes that I would not date. I wanted to
be able to understand the changes, and deal with them
without any outside influence.
Jaeda
For QP: Explain some of the sexual aspects of being
transsexual, both before and after beginning
testosterone.
Jayden:
Basically, I have sex like any normal man. I don't
like other people touching anything other then my
penis, unfortunately a strap-on, however,
everlasting.
Jaeda
For QP: How has your day to day interaction with
people changed now that you live as a man? What
differences have you noticed from when you were generally
viewed as female?
Jayden: There is
a boys club. Men do just talk about women like meat,
which I hate and it makes me rather uncomfortable. And
men do get treated with more respect, from both men
and women.
Jaeda
For QP: How do you define your sexuality at this
point?
Jayden: I don't
define my sexuality right now. I feel it’s still
too early in my transition to do so.
Jaeda
For QP: Where are you at now in the transitioning
process? What’s in the future for you regarding your
sexual identity?
Jayden: I have
been on testosterone shots for 9 months. However I
have not had a shot in 7 weeks. Not by choice. Despite
that I continue to gradually change. As far as the
future of my sexual identity, you will just have to
stay tuned to find out.
Jaeda
For QP: Anything in general you would like readers to
know about FTMs?
Jayden: I am not
getting a sex change. Being a transgendered male IS a
gender, so I am changing nothing about my sex. And I
have never been a girl. I might have had a female
body, and lived my life that way; however I have
always been Jayden. I have always been a man.
