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Transition for me

ON THIS journey, I finally realised that I need to complete my own transition. I had chest surgery way back in 2000 along with a type of androgen therapy. Essentially, I went half-way and was convinced that I could stay there. I had this idea that I was rebelling against the pressures of society. “Nobody was going to tell me who or what I should be” It was all very gender neutral, which suited me at the time, I guess.

I wasn’t ready to make a decision. It wasn’t so much rebellion but fear. This was fine for a while.

Eight years of ‘in the middle’, but I’d grown tired of it. Talking with other lads about their experiences and being inspired by their stories has given me the courage I thought I would never find.

Suddenly it has become clear and I’m experiencing a freedom of direction, a confidence and a sense of conviction which is truly liberating. I’ve since spoken to my family, close friends and colleagues in an honest, direct and jubilant way. In response, everyone has been supportive, honest and open with me.

Man, If only I’d done this all those years ago! But I was a different person then. This is the right time…. for me. I’m a man. I always have been.

I went for my first appointment at Monash Gender Clinic, here in Melbourne yesterday. Dr. Kennedy mentioned your name (Craig at FTM Australia) and had nothing but praise for you. I guess it was her that prompted me to write to you. I also wanted to say that TORQUE is a great publication and I enjoy the articles and stories tremendously.

I actually got a call from the clinic a few days before my appointment, asking if my name used to be “……….”!! I’d forgotten all about it, but I had apparently written to them in 1997.

It only took me 11 years to make an appointment.

Transition for me (2009) Torque 9(1), 14.