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Seven years after transition

I TURN 45 in February and it’s been seven years since I decided to transition. I had my mastectomy about one year after being on hormones and my hysterectomy three years later.

Prior to starting hormone injections my life had been consumed with desire to match my body with my mind. Unfortunately, after being told at 21 years of age by a Dr in the UK – “Don’t be a silly girl, just get on with your life”, I walked out of that room depressed, suicidal and very alone – still burdened with a secret that had been with me since I was five years old.

I think the next years were a big blur until I decided to jump ship leave the mother land and head to Australia. I settled in West End, Brisbane and quickly discovered Gladstone Road Medical Centre, a clinic which specifically welcomes gay, lesbian and transgender patients.

What a blessing that was! They listened, I cried, I talked, they asked questions, I cried some more. Somebody actually believed me! I didn’t cry because I was sad, I cried out of relief. I was 38 years old, desperately unhappy and I knew If I didn’t change my life soon there wouldn’t be a life to change.

I was lucky enough to have met a wonderful women a few years earlier who was also about to embark on her own journey along side me.

She was very afraid of losing her best friend. Our love was very strong but we had been seen as two females living together, so how would she cope living with someone who was now going to be seen male.

After the mastectomy operation she took care of me and I knew she could see the incredible change in me already. I was so happy to be rid of those lumps that I had hated since they first appeared at around 13 years old.

Once the pain had eased and I started to walk more confidently even managing to look in a few mirrors along the way my whole body language changed. I didn’t stoop with my head down anymore. I was standing straight with my chest out. Maybe I could even reduce my antidepressants.

Life seemed good and certainly worth living.

Fast forward 12 years and a heap of stories that could fill a book, we are still together and in a very loving relationship that has grown much stronger. I have incredible respect and admiration for her. It’s has much about her as it is about me. She has stood by me the whole of this journey, through operations, through the good times and the bad. Every three weeks she’s there to jab me with my injection, a job she hates but does it because she knows I need it and it’s easier this way.

I can’t image what my life was like before I was Aaron.

Those years prior to my transition saw one angry, depressed and moody individual. Today I have a beautiful partner, a great business I started with a friend I went to college with 26 years ago, a lovely home, loyal friends, two adorable cats and a yard full of leaves that desperately need raking. What more could a man ask for?

I no longer get stares from people or the “should you be in this toilet” look. And when people say I am brave in doing this I always say this is the easy bit! Living before was brave! I nearly gave up.

Seven years later life certainly has become easier. It just feels right to get up in the morning, look in the mirror, scratch my stubble, gel down my grey hairs and know that I’m going to grow old the way nature intended. I just feel like a face in the crowd just like everyone else…and that’s just the way I like it.

Aaron, (2009). Seven years after transition, Torque 9(1), 2-3.