Letter to my Parents

HELLO there,

I know that you always wanted me to be able to tell you anything – like the posters at school said ‘there’s nothing so bad you can’t talk about it’ – because I’ve been meaning to tell you both something for a while now. I was initally going to write a letter and post it, but procrastination has been getting the better of me, (and email is so convenient)

What I’m about to tell you might be a bit confronting – I don’t expect it to be easy for anyone to hear – so I understand that it will take time to get used to the idea.

Basically I’ve been putting a lot of time and research into how I can best feel comfortable with myself. I’ve decided that – after much deliberation – to be happier, I need to change the way I look on the outside, to better match the way I feel about myself on the inside.

At a glance, most people who see me in public think I’m a guy; but some don’t. The thing is, I would prefer others to see me as male because in my own mind, I see myself as a guy.

To make this change in myself I plan to start taking testosterone, and have a good understanding of the implications of this treatment.

I wanted to tell you this early on because the testosterone will obviously cause a bit of a change in my appearance eventually – but not my personality, except to make me more comfortable in my own skin.

I’m standing by my decision, but I’m happy to talk to you about it.

This is not a phase or decision I’ve made lightly, and I’m not doing it to hurt you or the rest of my family or friends. I love you and desperately don’t want to be rejected for this (if telling you I was gay wasn’t enough

So just to make sure you know; I see this as an exciting and very positive step for me to take. Its been a process of about 14 years to come to this stage of acceptance in myself, so I guess that for everyone else to come to terms with it will just take as long as it takes…

Lots of love, [Anon].

Anon (2006). Letter to my Parents, Torque, 6(2).

page updated 27 December 2010