I REMEMBER SOMEONE saying recently
something about wanting to get on T more or less
straight away so they could pass and feel safe.
I want to state that from my own personal
experience, passing is NOT just about looking
male. It's about acting confident in your own
self, whether that's male, female or
genderqueer. People know when they walk past
you, or talk to you, if you are confident in
knowing you either pass or you don't pass, and
that's what's important- not passing itself or
people clocking you as a man a woman or anything
else.
For example you could walk past someone, you
think may be a woman or a man, but they're
confident in their walk, their talk, their
mannerisms- and that won't make you think any
more of it than when you first looked at
them.
Suddenly gender just isn't that important and
you walk away thinking "well ok, that person
might be a guy or a girl but it doesn't really
matter". Or then again, you could walk past them
and they might be acting funny and being very
nervous and then THAT'S what's going to make you
look back and think, "I wonder why they are
acting like that, like they're worrying they
will be discovered they're not quite what
they're trying to be". That's what people who go
round picking on minorities are looking for
(subconsciously) - they're looking for
uncertainty from the person, not necessarily
whether they pass or not.
Now at first when someone is trying to pass,
of course, they're going to be nervous, but the
real life test is not passing as a man or a
woman. It is passing as YOU.
You're adjusting to your new self, whether
that's genderqueer or a male. This stage is
unavoidable and I wish I could say something
nice about it to make it all go away, but you
know that's not possible if you've lived through
this. There is a light at the end of the
tunnel.
David Thomas lives in Sydney with
his two children. He has been a member of FTM
Australia since 2001.
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