Not long after I made the decision to
live as a man, I was warned that
‘transitioning’ from one gender role
to another was possibly the most stressful thing
a person could do. At the time I naively
underestimated the reality of this comment.
After all, I had the support of a wonderful
family. I was finally going to do something I
wished I’d done years ago. How hard could
it be? Well…
While there are many changes to cope with,
particularly when transitioning as an older
person, by far the most stressful element for me
has been the ‘workplace’.
How will my workmates react? No one likes to
be the object of workplace gossip and ridicule.
Judging from the talk around the mess room table
it is a fear well founded for many transsexuals.
In fact it is such an insurmountable fear that
some people would rather look for another job
than deal with it. Leaving was not an option for
me. I would just have to deal with it.
Anthony Gunn, author of Fear is Power,
is a registered psychologist who specialises in
anxiety-related stress. Much of his research
centres around athletes, emergency workers and
military personnel and their observations
feature prominently in this book. Gunn refers to
them as Fear Professionals because they often
deal with fear on a daily basis.
According to Gunn, Fear Professionals
don’t deny their fear or even suppress it,
but rather acknowledge it and, depending on the
circumstances, use it as a catalyst for success
or change. The message here is that there is no
shame in feeling fear.
Fear is a naturally occurring defence
mechanism designed to keep us safe from danger,
whether were are going to war or simply leaving
our comfort zone.
Gunn deals with 10 common myths about fear,
such as ‘When leaving a comfort zone,
successful people don’t suffer from
distracting thoughts’. Or ‘Ignoring
bullying will make the bully leave you
alone.’
Some readers may find his approach a little
simplistic, but I think for the most part the
author avoids being overly ‘faddish’
by providing practical examples and solutions
rather than relying on aphorisms and
catchphrases.
The chapter on dealing with bullies is
particularly instructive, as it deconstructs the
behaviour and offers realistic strategies for
dealing with aggressive or manipulative people.
It’s no replacement for professional
counselling, but it’s worth reading
nonetheless.
ISBN: 1-74066-408-6. Published by Hardie
Grant Books, 2006
Forget The Secret. Let’s go
back to where it all started. What The
*Bleep* Do We Know? is a complex film
dealing with the complex matter of the human
mind. This was made before The Secret and
covers similar territory relating to the
‘Law of Attraction’.
While The Secret felt like one long
promo that never quite got to the point, this
goes into minute detail, explaining the
mechanism behind the ‘Law of
Attraction.’ It might be less accessible
but it is a much better film.
On the surface it tells the story of a
professional photographer for whom the
assignment of a wedding brings on anxiety and
terrible feelings of self loathing. She is
haunted by her own failed marriage and the
up-coming wedding represents, for her, all that
was hurtful about that relationship.
Cinematographically, this is an extraordinary
film. It overlays fictional narrative structure
with documentary interviews, reconstruction,
graphics and narration. It is unashamedly new
age, with input from physicists to mystic
spiritualists and everyone in between. Primarily
it examines the role of quantum physics and how
the mind develops ingrained patterns of learned
behaviour, based on past experiences.
Just as fear is designed to protect us from
physical harm, this behaviour protects us from
future emotional harm, but in reality it keeps
us entrapped by the fears and emotions of past
hurts. The lesson here is how to
‘unlearn’ that behaviour.
It’s convoluted, a little repetitious
and long winded and it might take a couple of
viewings to really ‘get it’ but
it’s worth persevering with. The extras
include the obligatory ‘Making
of…’ Recommended viewing for those who
didn’t understand the film the first time
around.
What the Bleep do we know? (2004). 20th
Century Fox
