I found that the more I passed, the
easier it got. I can pick and choose where and
when to out myself, and I guess it also depends
how you identify. I don’t make a point of
hiding my transgender identity, I just let
people assume by default that I’m male, as
people tend to assume by default everyone is
straight, can drive a car and has a credit card.
If they choose to believe I’m male, then
that’s fine by me. If they don’t
accept me for who I really am, then that’s
fine too.
At the end of the day, people will always
have their opinions. It really only matters to
the people who are in my life who I am.
Having said that I also don’t like
everyone knowing, for the simple fact that it
isn’t about me wanting to be seen as male
so much as being thought of as weird for being
myself. I have no control over who I am, any
more than anyone else really does. But for me,
it’s much easier to let people assume
things rather than having to go into a long
winded story with many questions, most of them
personal. It’s exactly the same as when
people ask me why I had a child at seventeen, or
did’nt learn to drive a car till I was
thirty-three. It’s not their business.
I’m happy to be myself and be known as
David the FTM guy to people who know that and
yet accept that I’m a person. I just want
to be treated as a unique individual. So long as
they realise that personal questions are not for
the office, or in public. I am in a very
fortunate position at present where I work
because I have several people who know about me
who treat me with the utmost respect and I
really value my current job.
Jobs are hard to come by and especially one
like this, I tell people who I catch bludging on
the job. I dont think they have any idea how
someone like me really comes to value a job
where I’m not outed on a daily basis or
have constant intrusions on my personal life, or
fear the sack because I won’t date a fellow
worker.
In my social life I mostly hang round with
lesbians and other transguys. I have enough
contact with males in the office and I am slowly
learning to trust men again. I have lots in
common with them but I want them to know me for
my personality and skills before they learn
through the inevitable gossip channel about my
transgendered status.
In public as a stranger, I never worry about
being outed and I forget that I am quite often.
I’ve never worried about being caught in a
public toilet, or anything like that. I
don’t drink so I don’t go to pubs and
so I don’t worry about that kind of thing.
I have learnt self defence so I use my brains to
avoid trouble and I find that’s the best
way to ensure my identity is kept to myself when
I’m out and about.
