Note from Michelle regarding the Diary
Entries:
From Day One of Chris getting injections we have
been keeping a journal of side effects, changes,
feelings etc. I thought it would be interesting
to commit to paper the changes from the littlest
thing to the most major. We have been asked to
share this journey with you. We hope it helps
partners as well as those who are just starting
out or who are thinking about it.
29th June 2005
Day 400 – Wow where is the year
going? Today was pellet day it seems to come
around so quickly. Everything so far has been
going well. No pellets have been lost which is
good. The insertion today seemed a little worse
then previous times so there is some concern to
why this may be. A lot of it may be in the mind
as with each new insertion you get to know the
process better which can in turn lead you to
believe it hurts when it doesn’t. Will have
to keep an eye on this.
This time Leo [Clinic Nurse] gave me
a stitch cutter so we shouldn’t have the
same problems as previously noted. Though I was
given a firm lecture on how sharp the cutter was
so now I am more nervous then ever.
Everything else is going well. There is an
increase in body hair especially on the stomach
and facial hair is growing rapidly with more
shaving required during the week. Once the
surgeries have been completed especially the
chest I think facial hair will remain as I know
his secret desire is to have a beard. It has
always been so we will have to wait and see what
happens.
6th July 2005
Day 406 – Tonight is removing of
stitch night. With shaky hands I have removed
the stitch cutter from its covering, I can hear
Leo in my head saying how sharp it is and to be
extremely careful. I have delicately and slowly
cut the stitch and yes it has worked I have
removed my first stitch. I am now on my way and
hopefully next time it will be even easier. Even
better I still have all my fingers so there is
no need for an emergency room tonight. There
seemed to be an enormous amount of blood (dried)
on the wound this time around which causes a bit
of a concern. The pellets are quite close to the
wound also so we may lose our first pellet this
time around.
20th July 2005
Day 420 – So far so good no pellet
has been lost and they seem to be moving away
from the wound so we should be ok. The wound
itself has healed nicely and all my previous
concerns have gone.
I have noticed that the voice seems to have
gotten a bit deeper and the tone of voice is
quite loud. There have been plenty of times that
I have asked Chris to stop yelling at me only to
find out that he is talking normally and not
yelling at all. It is something that I am going
to have to get used to. It is quite easy for
misunderstandings and arguments to start because
his voice has lost that soft melody and is now
louder and deeper. I find myself more and more
looking at old photos and remarking just how
much he has changed but yet when looking at him
he has not changed at all. It is quite a bizarre
feeling he looks the way he has always looked to
me but to the rest of the world the change is
indeed remarkable.
30th August 2005
Day 432 - Well surgery is still on the
cards but as yet still nothing has been done
regarding it. I know it is getting very
difficult now for Chris especially when out in
public. The big problem still and I guess will
be until surgery is done is which toilet do you
use.
Day 440 – The diary is getting harder
and harder to update. Looking forward the only
thing really left to do is to start down the
path to the operations. Once this is finalised
then Chris will be complete and we can move onto
closing the door of his other life. Even though
the door will be closing for good doesn’t
mean it will be forgotten as Chris’ journey
of life till now has made him the person he is
today. Remembering this is important, as with
all our lives there are always good times and
bad.
Nothing much has really happened, the facial
hair is increasing slightly, but increasing. I
know it annoys Chris that it won’t thicken
as quickly as he likes but I don’t think he
will ever be really hairy so hopefully he will
be able to at least grow a decent amount of
facial hair that he can be proud of. I guess we
will just have to wait and see.
19th October 2005
Day 508 – It has finally been
done. Today we have our first meeting with Megan
regarding chest surgery. It is very unnerving,
as there is a lot of speculation about what may
be said and what will be required.
20th October 2005
Day 509 – The meeting with Megan
went well, Chris was told to give up the smokes
and to look into getting fitter which we had
already started. Obviously the fitter you are
and less fat you have then the better the
outcome. Megan showed us pictures of guys with
similar size chests as Chris that she has worked
on and what the outcome has been for them.
She was very thorough in her explanation of
how the operation would be performed which eased
our minds a lot. She answered a lot of the
questions we had whilst she went through the
processes so we were able to relax.
Chris had to undergo some tests so we are
scheduled to see Megan again on the 21st
February 2006. This appointment will be when we
book in for the actual operation. It is finally
all falling into place, Chris is quite nervous
now of going through with the operation. Even
though it is what he has always wanted it still
freaks him out, which I believe to be quite
natural. As this process will be a lengthy one
and due to Chris having a large size chest it
won’t be as easy to get used to as someone
with a smaller chest, but all in all he is also
very excited. It will be interesting to see what
a change in appearance this will make to Chris.
I wonder now if all the changes that I have
documented to date will be enhanced once the
chest operation is complete.
I guess we will all have to wait and see.
Citation
— Michelle. (2005). Transition Diary #4.
December 2005.
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