I got "she-ed" on the phone twice this
week - for the first time in maybe a year. It
was weird - I haven't got the deepest of voices,
but I definitely need to sing with the other
guys at work cos that's where my vocal range
sits now.
The first time was when I needed to ring
someone who I'd been emailing regularly about
work stuff for the last month or so. When i said
it was Jack she went "oh, I thought Jack was a
guy" ..."I am" I said and then kept talking over
the awkward silence.
It's amazing how much being she'ed still
affected me . . even though I live as a guy and
get affirmed as male continuously. I guess
that's a part of gender identity dysphoria - it
does touch a deep part of me. I wonder when, or
if, that vulnerability ever totally goes
away?
When I got she'ed, I emailed Bex for words of
support . . then thought about how I could try
to shrug off how i was feeling. So 10 minutes
later, when the person who'd she'ed me on the
phone sent me an email, I posted back "thanks -
and do you think I'd have a good career as a
male soprano". She wrote back profusely
apologetic but also offering to be my manager
for one of those Pop Opera contests!
Later in the week I got called Mrs by
Phone Direct. I suspect that underneath
my changed details on my phone account, that my
old name sometimes pops up on their screen . .
and the guy went through and changed everything
to Jack. I was less taken aback that 2nd time .
. . and almost felt like I was just correcting a
wrong address or something just as impersonal .
. rather than feeling like I'd crossed back over
the wrong side of the "passing on the phone"
line.
I did wonder whether I've got so relaxed
about being myself and being read as a guy that
I've stopped trying to make my voice go even
lower . . and I know I've definitely stopped the
grumpy grunts which were a foolproof way of
being seen as "male".
— Jack, New
Zealand
