If I hear the words "a real man
wouldn't do that" one more time I'm going to
explode.
I am the man I choose to be, I'm not some
socially conditioned bloke who thinks a romantic
night is taking his girlfriend, wife, partner
whatever to the local pub or that you only buy
flowers when someone has died. I have a female
past; I cannot and will not deny that and why
the hell should I? I like my so-called
"feminine" behaviours and or actions!
I'm so sick of being categorised or labelled
because it is so terribly limiting. I'm pleased
that I know myself enough to do what's right for
me and screw anyone would can't deal with that.
Why can't I be a guy would has sex with any
consenting adult, why must I conform?
Transitioning is but one part of a complex
whole I am many, many things. Who I am does not
fit into one neat little box that can be
labelled. I am a man/boy, a student, a
brother/sister, a writer, an artist, and a
person with a mental illness, bla bla
bla………………
Most of all I am a performer, but I do not
perform on stage I perform everyday on the stage
of life, I step into different roles and my
roles change from day to day, no lets refine
that, from moment to moment at times. With a
lover I am a lover, at university I'm a student,
when I speak of transitioning I'm an advocate
for all who fall outside of the boxes society
places us in, when I'm at a club I'm a dancer
(or rather I move around to music). I am an
observer, a voyeur of life. Outsiders only peer
through a keyhole and see small segments of a
complex package.
Sometimes I think I'm like a caterpillar, I
began life as a caterpillar, I've evolved and
moved on, I was in a cacoon until I began to
really live my life as the person I know I am
and finally I'm beginning to feel like a
beautiful butterfly.
When will the world just stop trying to tell
me who to be, how to act, how to feel and just
let me be!
