I have read much about the negative
responses Transgender people receive from their
families, and thought it important to share with
you all a more positive story. I am not
attempting to negate anyone else's experiences,
but rather to remind everyone that some
transgendered people have good experiences.
I was eighteen years old when I first started
to make moves regarding my gender identity. At
the time, I was working as a sales
representative in my parent's business. I have
always been quite butch, and the fact that I
liked women was already common knowledge. At
first, my parents were upset that I was
considering gender transition, and my mother
sacked me from my job [on the grounds that
it may damage the image of her
business].
A few days later my mother rang me to talk
about my transition. We went for a drive and a
serious argument ensued. I threatened to open
the car door while we were travelling down the
freeway. Needless to say, there were tears all
round. For about two months I refused to
communicate with my family because they were so
upset with me.
One day my parents came to my house and I
pretended I wasn't there. They stayed at the
back door until I came out to see them. They
explained that they were afraid for my welfare.
That they were not sure that I would be happy as
a transgendered man in society.
My partner explained it in a logical way. My
parents gave birth to a healthy baby girl. They
were proud of my achievements and personality.
Now they were losing their daughter. They had
not yet realized that they were gaining the son
they always wanted. [My parents had three
daughters despite their desire for at least one
son.]
After that initial turbulent period of
customization my parents did everything in their
power to help me live my new life as their son.
My transition was never kept secret from family,
friends, or employees. Everyone associated with
my family refer to me by my new name. Family
friends who are like relatives treat me as one
of the boys.
My parents have embraced my transition as an
experience of enlightenment for them as well.
They have read articles about transgendered
issues and people. They have watched
documentaries and movies about transgendered
issues. They often send me newspaper and
magazine articles I may have missed.
I knew when they payed for my breast
reduction operation that they supported me. I
also knew when my mother asked me to write a
book about my experiences, that she was willing
to accept my new existence. She is even paying
me as an employee to write the book, which I
hope to finish early next year.
I am not a skeleton kept in my family's
closet. If anyone comments that they thought my
parents had three daughters, they are told of my
situation. If my mother accidentally calls me
"she" or "my daughter" in public, she apologises
to me and gets quite embarrassed.
Perhaps I am simply lucky. I honestly believe
so. But everyone needs to remember that no
matter what your fears, you have to face them. I
could very easily have separated myself from my
family, but then I would never have understood
just how much love they have for me.
