It's been nearly 12 months now since
Ash announced that he needed to do something
about the fact he was born biologically female.
Now to be perfectly honest, whilst it hit me
like a bomb, I really should not have been
surprised. Ash has never looked female, dressed
female nor acted female, but hey when you are a
lesbian and then your partner definitively tells
you that they are male it kind of hits you
anyway!
I guess to put it all into some sort of
perspective, I need to tell you a little bit of
our history. Ash and I commenced a relationship
when he was 19 and I was 35 and we fell
hopelessly in love. Now even though there was a
massive age difference, and my package included
three children, the relationship was special
from the start and as schmaltzy as it sounds, we
were and remain to this day soul mates. I guess
however, to all looking in from the outside, we
never had what is defined the Normal
Relationship anyway.
So what has happened since that fateful day!
Well, ummm lots and nothing! Lots in terms of
the fact that the process of transition has been
fast and furious and nothing because it has been
such a non-event in the great scheme of our
lives. Read on!
After the initial shock wore off Ash
introduced me to the volumes of information he
had been researching on the Internet. WOW now
there was an eye opener. Now I would be lying if
I said I didn't react, and badly at that! The
trauma associated with transitioning,
particularly surgery scared the hell out of me.
I mean who can honestly say that they want to
see their partner undergo such trauma and lets
not forget my own self-identity in this process.
All of a sudden, my own sexuality was up for
question made more traumatic for me by the fact
I had been married and had dealt with all the
crap of 'coming out' in a previous life.
Now whilst all that was trauma enough, the
thing that struck us both the hardest was the
sadness and anger that existed in this new world
we had entered. Let's be honest here, when you
start exploring the Internet on transitioning,
the negative stories far outweigh the positives
and even when you read people's personal stories
that end on a optimistic note, the level of
suffering that people have experienced through
the process is often high. So we talked, and
talked and talked… and at the end of the
day we decided we could do this together and it
basically came down to Ash being true to himself
and the unconditional love we had between us.
You know that whole thing about love conquering
all.
So onwards and upwards! The first decision we
made was that we would go through the Monash
Gender Centre. Going it alone was never an
option for us. We had read too many stories of
people making this decision and the effects it
had on both themselves and their loved ones and
we just didn't want to go there. Now we do
acknowledge that we were extremely lucky in the
fact that the Centre is located 20 minutes from
us but even without that added bonus, we still
would not have gone this alone.
So the very next day, Ash contacted the
Monash Centre and a few days later the mail
brought with it the first appointment, dated one
month later.
