I've found though, that it's relatively rare for
parents to completely disown their transsexual
children. Many have gone through an initial
period of denial or refusal to accept what's
happening, but in time the majority manage to
strike up an understanding. You just have to be
patient and think about how long it's taken you
to figure everything out, and remember you can't
expect your parents to do it all in one
go."
Samuel
Hannard, 2002
My partner's family
are extremely accepting and know our situation.
They have supported me in everything and helped
us in all ways possible. Although you can not
replace your 'blood relatives' you can always
find a family from friends, and loved ones who
support you in everything you do and accept you
for who you are, allowing you to live the life
that you choose.
My partner believed
that if my family did discover his past and I
had to choose between the two, I would resent
him. I could never do such a thing. Love can
overcome all odds. And to this day, I have never
resented him, only thanked him for allowing me
to see how precious life is through the eyes of
another."
Annette, Blue
Mountains, Australia 2003
When I started to seriously contemplate
'transitioning', as they say, I spent months
researching other guys' stories on the internet.
Specifically, I was curious to read about how
their families reacted. From memory, I think I
would have been lucky to have found five sites
that had positive outcomes. Most families I had
read about had been totally negative; it was
pretty depressing stuff to read. Maybe I just
wasn't looking in the right corner of the World
Wide Web."
Ashley,
Melbourne, Australia, 2003
As time progressed my voice kept breaking and
getting deeper, I wonder how long any of us can
keep pretending to have a bad throat ? Every
time I spoke to my grandmother she asked about
my throat, a nice change to, "have you got a
boyfriend yet?"
Max,
Newcastle, Australia
My parents basically taught me that I could
accept myself for who I was, not that we ever
agreed about who that was...( they do try
hard).
Kev, Sydney,
Australia
I haven't told some of my older relatives
because I think it would be too difficult for
them to grasp and a few have dementia, so I'd
have to explain it over and over!"
Michael M.
Victoria, Australia
Where do I draw my
strength and inspiration from?...that's a
toughie, the love and support of friends and
family, and the fire in my belly that won't let
me stop.
Kev, Sydney,
Australia
Awesome, is the only word I can think of to
describe how my mum has handled it all, she's
more concerned about how my girlfriend is doing
with it all. Mum never missed a beat. Overnight
she went from 10 years of nagging me to grow my
hair, to telling me I need a haircut because the
number three I had was too long. She reckons she
knew years ago and was just waiting for me to
realise and do something about it, wish she had
of bought it up with me back then.
My dad accepted very
early on that I was never going to be his little
girl, I never even came close. I don't think
he'll ever really tell me how he feels about all
this, however, without saying it I know I have
his 100% support. Our relationship only really
began after my brothers death, before that we
didn't really know each other that well. Since
then we've become pretty close. We've spent
every other weekend landscaping his front and
back yards and at the end of the day, having a
chat over a few beers. If I never see another
sledgehammer or wheelbarrow again it won't be
too soon. Looking back over it my relationship
with my dad has always been that of a
father/son, not a father/daughter. Which would
probably explain why not a thing between us has
changed, there's no need to change anything,
it's exactly how it should be.
I never even thought
about the possibility of such a positive outcome
when I began all this. I thought I knew my
family well enough to gauge their reactions and
responses, but how well do any of us really know
our family. Guess I needed to have a bit more
faith in them, being the eternal pessimist
didn't help either."
Ashley -
Melbourne, Australia, 2003
To this day we do not know what my family
believes, they do not want to learn or attempt
to understand. I know for a fact they have
turned my partner into the 'evil' one, stating
he has corrupted me and I am a prisoner in this
relationship.
I believe that they
choose to live in this fantasy world to hope I
will come back one day and apologise, and tell
them how right they were and how wrong I was.
While this ignorance and mentality exists, there
is no chance of having an accepting relationship
with my family, and no matter how hard we try,
some people do not change.
My partner's family are
extremely accepting and know our situation. They
have supported me in everything and helped us in
all ways possible. Although you can not replace
your 'blood relatives' you can always find a
family from friends, and loved ones who support
you in everything you do and accept you for who
you are, allowing you to live the life that you
choose."
Annette, Blue
Mountains, Australia 2003
My impressions of
my son-in-law have been that he is definitely
masculine in his thinking and manner. My opinion
has been formed in particular by observing his
interaction with my daughter, his interest,
aptitude and expertise in respect to home
maintenance and improvements, the manner in
which he performs the role of head of the family
and being a father to my grandson.
Bernard,
retired serviceman Royal Australian Air
Force,
Queensland, 2001
