Hello there,
I know that you always
wanted me to be able to tell you anything - like
the posters at school said ‘there’s
nothing so bad you can’t talk about
it’ - because I’ve been meaning to
tell you both something for a while now. I was
initally going to write a letter and post it,
but procrastination has been getting the better
of me, (and email is so convenient)
What I’m about to
tell you might be a bit confronting - I
don’t expect it to be easy for anyone to
hear - so I understand that it will take time to
get used to the idea.
Basically I’ve
been putting a lot of time and research into how
I can best feel comfortable with myself.
I’ve decided that - after much deliberation
- to be happier, I need to change the way I look
on the outside, to better match the way I feel
about myself on the inside.
At a glance, most
people who see me in public think I’m a
guy; but some don’t. The thing is, I would
prefer others to see me as male because in my
own mind, I see myself as a guy.
To make this change in
myself I plan to start taking testosterone, and
have a good understanding of the implications of
this treatment.
I wanted to tell you
this early on because the testosterone will
obviously cause a bit of a change in my
appearance eventually - but not my personality,
except to make me more comfortable in my own
skin.
I’m standing by my
decision, but I’m happy to talk to you
about it.
This is not a phase or
decision I’ve made lightly, and I’m
not doing it to hurt you or the rest of my
family or friends. I love you and desperately
don’t want to be rejected for this (if
telling you I was gay wasn’t enough :)
So just to make sure
you know; I see this as an exciting and very
positive step for me to take. Its been a process
of about 14 years to come to this stage of
acceptance in myself, so I guess that for
everyone else to come to terms with it will just
take as long as it takes...
Lots of love,
*****.
(Feb 06)
