While they accepted the TS they didn't really
understand my need to transition since I already
passed rather convincingly.
The only thing I could
think of to explain it in a way they would
understand was to ask them when they had last
seen me in just shorts and a t-shirt. When they
thought this through they all came back saying,
hey you know what, we've never seen that. In
fact they have never seen me in less than two
t-shirts & a baggy jacket, affectionately
referred to as my security blanket.
Ahh how everyone will
be glad when the security blanket is no longer
needed, coz I never leave home without it. I'm
more likely to forget to put my shoes on than
forget my jacket when I step out my front door.
Giving them examples like this, they seemed to
somewhat understand my position and why I wanted
surgery.
Ashley, Melbourne, Australia
2003
I would first of all like to say that in my
opinion transition has a beginning and an end. I
regard transsexualism as a medical condition
like any other and transition as a
rehabilitative process. I have completed my
journey of transition, I am a man with a
transsexual history, a history which I am not
ashamed of and do not hide from. But these days
I choose who, when and where if at any time to
share this history.
Life for me now is
everything I ever hoped and dreamt for. I am a
happily married man and a father of two
wonderful sons. I have also remained with the
same employer from the beginning to the end of
my transition and as the man I am
today.
Only last week I was
asked if I had any regrets about the decision I
made to transition. My response was if I died
tomorrow I would do so without regret. I am now
a very happy man, completely true to myself and
have found an inner peace.
Yes, I am married to a
very special woman who I love very much. We meet
a short time after I had begun my journey. I was
open and honest with her from the beginning and
notwithstanding my predicament our relationship
flourished. The unwavering support she has given
me and continues to give me is far beyond what I
could put into words.
One thing that must be
said is that it is very easy to become so self
absorbed in your journey that you can at times
take for granted the support and understanding
of your partner. They ride the roller coaster
with you and at times may be more affected by it
than you are.
As I said above, I
believe that Transition has a beginning and an
end, that one does not
spend all their life
transitioning. I also believe that when one
transitions it is more about a transitioning of
public genders than anything else. That
transitioning is about the rest of the world
realising the truth of who I am and the
recognition that comes with this. I have always
known myself to be nothing but male despite the
fact that a medical professional pronounced to
my parents that I was a girl, based on a glance
at my genitalia.
I completed my
transition many years ago now. Whether to
complete public transition or not was never an
issue for me. It was a matter of how and when. I
have no doubt that I would not have been able to
continue my life living the lie that I was
forced to for so many years, the life of a man
with a body not in harmony with my biological
core, that is my brain.
I am a very systematic
type of man, so I dealt with my transition in
the same way. A list was made of everything that
was to be completed and prioritised. As each
step was completed and ticked off the list, I
became more confident about being able to
finally be happy and be myself without any
pretence.
I found that the
biggest advantage I had throughout my period of
transition (other than my wife) was my honesty
and openness to educate the people around me.
Many people commented about the fact that I was
open, honest and unashamed of myself, which
meant that they were given the opportunity to
educate themselves. This made them more at ease
with my condition and not threatened by
it.
I now have a life and a
very rewarding one at that. I have never
regretted facing my predicament and doing
something about it. You are the controller of
your own destiny; draw on your own courage and
wisdom to change your life. Only you are the one
with the ability to do so. Believe in your inner
self. The journey may not always be smooth (I
know mine was not) but it is well worth
it.
Cameron, Sydney, Australia
2002
